Avatar Observations
Yeah yeah yeah, you've read 20 other blogs reviewing Avatar and have already seen the movie and drunkenly discussed the film with your friends but I'd like to offer my thoughts. I saw the film in IMAX 3D on the final showing before it switches over to Alice in Burtonland and here are some of my observations (note I will not use any mainstream criticisms like the plot or the mineral unobtanium):
Avatar Internet > Earth Internet
On Pandora, if you want to get online and check emails from your ancestors, IM with animals or post on the Tree God's forum, all you have to do is plug your hair into their network. No router. No 404 errors. No network problems. No $30 in monthly fees. No unhelpful foreign tech support telling you to cycle the modem. No rickrolling. No trolling.
In fact the only bad part is that if someone with dirty hair also uses the same connection point you're going to get some nasty hair issues.
edit: Their internet doesn't have porn or torrents so its probably even
Avatar's Blue People > Blue Man Group > "Blue (ba da bee)" by Eiffel 65
Avatar's blue people are 10 feet tall, shoot poisonous arrows and can communicate with nature without the use of acid. The blue man group just bangs on stuff and Eiffel 65 still sucks.
Long and awkward crowd shots: Matrix Reloaded > Avatar
Avatar features some really out of place shots during the community prayer sequence at the magic tree (yes I did just say that). All the blue people swaying and praying made me feel awkward much in the way that the cave rave shots from Matrix Reloaded made that movie awkward. The only difference was the Matrix had some nips.
Avatar political preaching > Michael Moore
I know everyone has already covered this but rather than choose to be subtle in how he presented his message, James Cameron made it perfectly clear. The blue people are Democrats.
Use of black screens to cut scenes: Law and Order > Avatar
Avatar surprised me in that it featured multiple instances where a new scene was introduced by the previous scene fading to black. At least Law and Order puts some text to give you an idea of where they are.
Big budget lesser known actors: Sam Worthington > Elijah Wood
In order to play Frodo, Elijah Wood basically grew out his hair because he's already a small person. Sam Worthington either had the muscles removed from his legs or he rode a Segway for three months straight because when they did shots of his legs, they were sticks. I'll give him some respect for dedication.
Those things you sit in and shoot things with: Avatar > Matrix Revolutions
In Matrix reloaded the TTYSIASTW's were pretty lame (not to mention the cringeworthy Braveheart ripoff speech where the general rallies the TTYSIASTW operators and they all lift their left arm gun things in unison). In Avatar the TTYSIASTWs featured a cockpit w/HUD that protected them rather than the open cockpits of the machines in Matrix Revolutions. The TTYSIASTWs in Avatar allowed them to manipulate objects and hold different weapons and had a surprising amount of dexterity. In both movies however, the TTYSIASTWs are ultimately defeated by smaller and more nimble creatures.
More unlikely romance: Anna Nicole Smith and that rich old guy > Avatar
Both examples feature people that shouldn't really be together considering their circumstances but in each instance their romances were able to flourish despite criticism from close friends/family. In Avatar the fake blue guy is nearly killed by his future wife which tends to happen a lot in the real world. How often do we hear things like "My wife is gonna kill me when she finds out I bet on the Colts" or "My wife almost killed me with a golf club after discovering I cheated on her with 10 different women."
But the reason Anna Nicole Smith wins is because even blind people could see through that romance. Of course she's dead now so I guess her move didn't really pay off (yeah cruel joke but Haiti is much more tragic than a former Playboy model with drug problems)
Would an army of dragons, dinosaurs and archers actually beat a squad of gunships in real life?
Yes but only due to the fact that with current budget overruns and controversies over military contracts, these machines will probably never be built.
Blue-daism > RDAtheism
You'll only get that if you saw the movie.
What I learned from USA vs Canada
Earlier this afternoon, Team USA and Team Canada played one of the best games in the history of Olympic hockey. It didn't look good for the Americans early on but when Zach Parise tied the game with only seconds remaining in regulation, suddenly the game went from good to epic. Even though America lost, there are some important lessons we can learn.
1. Every sports bar will have a 'that guy' who knows nothing about the sport and only watches because its the championship and the bar has beer specials.
Today was no different than watching the BCS National Championship with people that don't know much about football. Today's 'that guy' was a man in his mid-30s who apparently got bored with the one TV showing Nascar and decided to interject his Madden-esque wisdom onto the sport of hockey yelling such insightful comments like "Skate faster" "Hit that guy" "Shoot the damn puck already" "Come on Fight! Fight! Fight! This is hockey where's the fighting?" "Push the Goalie out of the Way" and so on ... Also I want to note that as soon as Crosby scored he was the first and certainly not the last person to attempt a Canada sucks chant and interjected equally unintelligent insults including my favorite "You guys can have your stupid Hockey game but we have Football and Baseball" (forgetting the Blue Jays world series teams of the early 90s and the Canadian Football League)
Look its cool to cheer and talk about how a team is performing and even if you don't know much about the sport, you can still make educated commentary based on basic facts (example: "There isn't much time left, they really need to push in the offensive zone"). However don't make it so obvious that you don't know what's going on because it really annoys people trying to follow the game.
2. Sidney Crosby has a gold medal, Wayne Gretzky doesn't
For those of you who don't remember, NHL players weren't eligible to play in the Olympics until 1998. That year Gretzky made his olympic debut but failed to medal as Canada lost to Finland in the bronze medal game. Peter Forsberg scored his memorable shootout goal in 1994 and subsequently signed his first NHL contract after having played for Swedish club Modo.
3. Hot Canadian women don't watch sports at bars.
I'm not going to go into detail because I realize that I'm not the world's best looking guy but I just want to make that known. I've actually met some beautiful Canadian girls downtown (note to guys who took French in high school, drunk Canadian girls go crazy when you parlez vous francais).
4. When people chant U-S-A, U-S-A
Its fun to interject "Party in the" because we all need more Miley Cyrus in our lives. Wait did I just say that?
5. I will fly to Russia just to go see team USA in 2014.
Keywords People Have Used to Find My Blog
A look at search keywords from Google, Yahoo and MSN to see how people got to my site. (From 11/1 to 2/3)
Keyword, Visits
will gallahue, 7 - Officially popular
linkedin worthless, 4
flying cars pros and cons, 3 - I guess I'm an academic expert
linkedin is worthless, 3 - I don't hate LinkedIn that much
cons and pros of flying cars, 2
lexus douchebag, 2 - Probably looking for pictures
mstrkrft dj set list, 2
pros and cons of flying cars, 2 - I'm surprised people search for this
pros of flying cars, 2
will gallahue blog, 2
james cameron"" pa ""personal secretary"", 1 - Like I know
$350000 nissian, 1 - Aka the Lexus LFA which is a cheap ripoff of the Nissan 350z
10 resolutions for 2010 blogs, 1
2009 contacts+pakistan suger industry+ mahmood+sam @yahoo.pk @hotmail.com, 1 - I don't know
2010 gay resolutions, 1 - I'm not gay, no really, I'm not gay
202-324-2000 , 1 - Stalker?
alexander profile contact yahoo and hotmail contact 20009, 1 - Stalker?
arm cast, 1
ask bo jackson for his autograph, 1 - Well ask him
beefy gay blog, 1 - No joke
best thing to order at whataburger, 1
blackboard -nails -fingernails -travel -paint -chalk -glennbeck -eraser -menu -restaurant -restaurants -uaa -special, 1 - ???
bo jackson hamburgers grand opening, 1
bo jackson kids, 1 - He is my dad
cant touch mormon jesus, 1 - No you can't
cast arm, 1
celebrity names backwards, 1
deep south shuffle, 1
dj jposty, 1 - Try Myspace
eat in tax at whataburger, 1
epic fail karate kid ii, 1
facebook scammer escobar, 1 - Go get 'em
fatback circus, 1 - Its a band
flying car pros and cons, 1
futurism pros and cons, 1
getting back at blackboard abusers, 1
handicap sign honk for service, 1
how did the blue people in avatar speak english, 1 - From Hanoi, Vietnam btw
how family matters should have ended, 1
http://willgallahue.com/blog, 1
jessica alba who dated, 1
karate kid remake fail, 1
lexus, 1
list of guys in mstrkrft video, 1 - Me and Cobrasnake
making of karate kid, 1
mens warehouse, 1 - LOL
mens warehouse in montgomery, 1
mens warehouse jackson, 1
mens wearhouse blogs san diego, 1
menswarehouse get fitted, 1
mike jeffcoat game used, 1
mstrkrft austin, 1
my 10 resolutions, 1
naughty female cops, 1 - They don't exist
new karate kid ""about kung fu"", 1
new lexus that you have to be tapped for to get, 1
only douchebags, 1 - I'm flattered
perfect pandora avatar, 1 - My face
pros and cons of a flying car, 1
pros of flying vehicles, 1
quadruple whataburger, 1
slutty cop outfit, 1 - Never worn one
slutty cops, 1 - Stop
so sad that i want to throw up, 1 - Try googling 'counseling'
the special concert will be presented by whataburger december 5, 1 - I hosted it
tiple meat triple cheese, 1
triple meat, 1
triple meat hamburger, calories, 1
triple meat triple cheese, 1 - OM NOM NOM
what are pros and cons for flying cars?, 1
what was bo jackson childhood like, 1
whataburger combo #1 price, 1
whataburger triple meat, 1
whataburger triple meat triple cheese, 1
whataburger triple meat triple cheese price, 1 - $9
whataburger weezer logo, 1 - Conspiracy?
will galahue, 1
Apparently I Could Beat Up William Shatner
This classic fight scene from Star Trek proves that I could probably beat Captain Kirk in a fight in a desert.
Karate Kid Remake: An Epic Fail in the Making
So for those of you who don't know, they are remaking the classic film The Karate Kid. The original version was a commercial and critical success to the point that Pat Morita earned an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actor. The film is a well loved classic which is why Hollywood has decided that it would be the perfect movie to ruin with an updated version.
I encourage you to watch the trailer first then read about all of the mistakes this film is making below:
- First of all KARATE IS FROM JAPAN. It was developed in Japan's Ryukyu Islands and was later brought to main land Japan. I'd like to take this opportunity to note that international relations between China and Japan are cordial but the countries are not close in any way. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if Chinese people are mad that a Japanese martial art is featured in main land China.
- Second of all Jackie Chan is a master of Kung-Fu. Knowing Kung Fu is in no way akin to knowing Karate ... imagine driving an automatic transmission and thinking you don't need someone to teach you how to drive a semi-truck because you "know how to drive."
- Third the film is really negative in how it portrays Chinese life. The film portrays China as an ambivalent society that doesn't welcome foreigners but I would completely disagree ... if you look at the China's record on human rights, you'll see a loving inclusive society that encourages diversity. /sarcasm
- Fourth of all the film acts like all Chinese children know martial arts. That's bullshit. Most of the Chinese people I know can't bench press the bar at the gym (mainly because they are women) and the ones that are really strong would rather brag about their successful careers and basketball skills rather than any prowess in martial arts.
- Fifth of all Jackie Chan isn't a great choice for a lead character. If you want someone who knows how to kick some ass, cast someone from the UFC who uses karate to win championships (cough Lyoto Machida cough). With the emergence of mixed martial arts, it makes other martial arts actors (with the exception of Tony Jaa from Ong Bak fame) look like well ... actors.
- Sixth of all the film gives it a 2000s "Dance Movie" type feel. If you watched the trailer and felt like you were watching Save the Last Dance, you aren't alone.
- Seventh of all the film, if you're still reading, I did some research while writing this post and discovered that the film will indeed be about Kung Fu. So then why the hell call it The Karate Kid? WTF?


To BMW Driver TX Plate MJM-164
How many did you have before you hit the road tonight?
Let's see, it took you 20 seconds to realize we had a green light at Bee Cave and N. Mopac ... then you crawled along at 20 mph to the onramp before you proceeded to drive 40 mph on a 65 mph road.
I would have passed you but everyone else was passing us because they realized how bad you were driving. You drive a brand new 5-series which isn't exactly a cheap car and I'm surprised it has managed to stay in one piece.
I hope you made it home tonight but if you didn't you have no one to blame but yourself.