Avatar Observations
Yeah yeah yeah, you've read 20 other blogs reviewing Avatar and have already seen the movie and drunkenly discussed the film with your friends but I'd like to offer my thoughts. I saw the film in IMAX 3D on the final showing before it switches over to Alice in Burtonland and here are some of my observations (note I will not use any mainstream criticisms like the plot or the mineral unobtanium):
Avatar Internet > Earth Internet
On Pandora, if you want to get online and check emails from your ancestors, IM with animals or post on the Tree God's forum, all you have to do is plug your hair into their network. No router. No 404 errors. No network problems. No $30 in monthly fees. No unhelpful foreign tech support telling you to cycle the modem. No rickrolling. No trolling.
In fact the only bad part is that if someone with dirty hair also uses the same connection point you're going to get some nasty hair issues.
edit: Their internet doesn't have porn or torrents so its probably even
Avatar's Blue People > Blue Man Group > "Blue (ba da bee)" by Eiffel 65
Avatar's blue people are 10 feet tall, shoot poisonous arrows and can communicate with nature without the use of acid. The blue man group just bangs on stuff and Eiffel 65 still sucks.
Long and awkward crowd shots: Matrix Reloaded > Avatar
Avatar features some really out of place shots during the community prayer sequence at the magic tree (yes I did just say that). All the blue people swaying and praying made me feel awkward much in the way that the cave rave shots from Matrix Reloaded made that movie awkward. The only difference was the Matrix had some nips.
Avatar political preaching > Michael Moore
I know everyone has already covered this but rather than choose to be subtle in how he presented his message, James Cameron made it perfectly clear. The blue people are Democrats.
Use of black screens to cut scenes: Law and Order > Avatar
Avatar surprised me in that it featured multiple instances where a new scene was introduced by the previous scene fading to black. At least Law and Order puts some text to give you an idea of where they are.
Big budget lesser known actors: Sam Worthington > Elijah Wood
In order to play Frodo, Elijah Wood basically grew out his hair because he's already a small person. Sam Worthington either had the muscles removed from his legs or he rode a Segway for three months straight because when they did shots of his legs, they were sticks. I'll give him some respect for dedication.
Those things you sit in and shoot things with: Avatar > Matrix Revolutions
In Matrix reloaded the TTYSIASTW's were pretty lame (not to mention the cringeworthy Braveheart ripoff speech where the general rallies the TTYSIASTW operators and they all lift their left arm gun things in unison). In Avatar the TTYSIASTWs featured a cockpit w/HUD that protected them rather than the open cockpits of the machines in Matrix Revolutions. The TTYSIASTWs in Avatar allowed them to manipulate objects and hold different weapons and had a surprising amount of dexterity. In both movies however, the TTYSIASTWs are ultimately defeated by smaller and more nimble creatures.
More unlikely romance: Anna Nicole Smith and that rich old guy > Avatar
Both examples feature people that shouldn't really be together considering their circumstances but in each instance their romances were able to flourish despite criticism from close friends/family. In Avatar the fake blue guy is nearly killed by his future wife which tends to happen a lot in the real world. How often do we hear things like "My wife is gonna kill me when she finds out I bet on the Colts" or "My wife almost killed me with a golf club after discovering I cheated on her with 10 different women."
But the reason Anna Nicole Smith wins is because even blind people could see through that romance. Of course she's dead now so I guess her move didn't really pay off (yeah cruel joke but Haiti is much more tragic than a former Playboy model with drug problems)
Would an army of dragons, dinosaurs and archers actually beat a squad of gunships in real life?
Yes but only due to the fact that with current budget overruns and controversies over military contracts, these machines will probably never be built.
Blue-daism > RDAtheism
You'll only get that if you saw the movie.
What I learned from USA vs Canada
Earlier this afternoon, Team USA and Team Canada played one of the best games in the history of Olympic hockey. It didn't look good for the Americans early on but when Zach Parise tied the game with only seconds remaining in regulation, suddenly the game went from good to epic. Even though America lost, there are some important lessons we can learn.
1. Every sports bar will have a 'that guy' who knows nothing about the sport and only watches because its the championship and the bar has beer specials.
Today was no different than watching the BCS National Championship with people that don't know much about football. Today's 'that guy' was a man in his mid-30s who apparently got bored with the one TV showing Nascar and decided to interject his Madden-esque wisdom onto the sport of hockey yelling such insightful comments like "Skate faster" "Hit that guy" "Shoot the damn puck already" "Come on Fight! Fight! Fight! This is hockey where's the fighting?" "Push the Goalie out of the Way" and so on ... Also I want to note that as soon as Crosby scored he was the first and certainly not the last person to attempt a Canada sucks chant and interjected equally unintelligent insults including my favorite "You guys can have your stupid Hockey game but we have Football and Baseball" (forgetting the Blue Jays world series teams of the early 90s and the Canadian Football League)
Look its cool to cheer and talk about how a team is performing and even if you don't know much about the sport, you can still make educated commentary based on basic facts (example: "There isn't much time left, they really need to push in the offensive zone"). However don't make it so obvious that you don't know what's going on because it really annoys people trying to follow the game.
2. Sidney Crosby has a gold medal, Wayne Gretzky doesn't
For those of you who don't remember, NHL players weren't eligible to play in the Olympics until 1998. That year Gretzky made his olympic debut but failed to medal as Canada lost to Finland in the bronze medal game. Peter Forsberg scored his memorable shootout goal in 1994 and subsequently signed his first NHL contract after having played for Swedish club Modo.
3. Hot Canadian women don't watch sports at bars.
I'm not going to go into detail because I realize that I'm not the world's best looking guy but I just want to make that known. I've actually met some beautiful Canadian girls downtown (note to guys who took French in high school, drunk Canadian girls go crazy when you parlez vous francais).
4. When people chant U-S-A, U-S-A
Its fun to interject "Party in the" because we all need more Miley Cyrus in our lives. Wait did I just say that?
5. I will fly to Russia just to go see team USA in 2014.
Liberal Arm Injury Update #2 w/pic (caution)
On Friday they took my first cast off and replaced it with a new removable one. They also took a bunch of staples out of my arm which you can see below. Everyday it feels like I can bend my fingers and wrist a little bit more but I probably won't regain a full range of motion and I have some minor nerve damage. The hospital adjusted my bill from $22,700 to less than $7,000 so that makes me happy.
Caution picture w/staples below.
Wrist/Forearm after surgery
Keywords People Have Used to Find My Blog
A look at search keywords from Google, Yahoo and MSN to see how people got to my site. (From 11/1 to 2/3)
Keyword, Visits
will gallahue, 7 - Officially popular
linkedin worthless, 4
flying cars pros and cons, 3 - I guess I'm an academic expert
linkedin is worthless, 3 - I don't hate LinkedIn that much
cons and pros of flying cars, 2
lexus douchebag, 2 - Probably looking for pictures
mstrkrft dj set list, 2
pros and cons of flying cars, 2 - I'm surprised people search for this
pros of flying cars, 2
will gallahue blog, 2
james cameron"" pa ""personal secretary"", 1 - Like I know
$350000 nissian, 1 - Aka the Lexus LFA which is a cheap ripoff of the Nissan 350z
10 resolutions for 2010 blogs, 1
2009 contacts+pakistan suger industry+ mahmood+sam @yahoo.pk @hotmail.com, 1 - I don't know
2010 gay resolutions, 1 - I'm not gay, no really, I'm not gay
202-324-2000 , 1 - Stalker?
alexander profile contact yahoo and hotmail contact 20009, 1 - Stalker?
arm cast, 1
ask bo jackson for his autograph, 1 - Well ask him
beefy gay blog, 1 - No joke
best thing to order at whataburger, 1
blackboard -nails -fingernails -travel -paint -chalk -glennbeck -eraser -menu -restaurant -restaurants -uaa -special, 1 - ???
bo jackson hamburgers grand opening, 1
bo jackson kids, 1 - He is my dad
cant touch mormon jesus, 1 - No you can't
cast arm, 1
celebrity names backwards, 1
deep south shuffle, 1
dj jposty, 1 - Try Myspace
eat in tax at whataburger, 1
epic fail karate kid ii, 1
facebook scammer escobar, 1 - Go get 'em
fatback circus, 1 - Its a band
flying car pros and cons, 1
futurism pros and cons, 1
getting back at blackboard abusers, 1
handicap sign honk for service, 1
how did the blue people in avatar speak english, 1 - From Hanoi, Vietnam btw
how family matters should have ended, 1
http://willgallahue.com/blog, 1
jessica alba who dated, 1
karate kid remake fail, 1
lexus, 1
list of guys in mstrkrft video, 1 - Me and Cobrasnake
making of karate kid, 1
mens warehouse, 1 - LOL
mens warehouse in montgomery, 1
mens warehouse jackson, 1
mens wearhouse blogs san diego, 1
menswarehouse get fitted, 1
mike jeffcoat game used, 1
mstrkrft austin, 1
my 10 resolutions, 1
naughty female cops, 1 - They don't exist
new karate kid ""about kung fu"", 1
new lexus that you have to be tapped for to get, 1
only douchebags, 1 - I'm flattered
perfect pandora avatar, 1 - My face
pros and cons of a flying car, 1
pros of flying vehicles, 1
quadruple whataburger, 1
slutty cop outfit, 1 - Never worn one
slutty cops, 1 - Stop
so sad that i want to throw up, 1 - Try googling 'counseling'
the special concert will be presented by whataburger december 5, 1 - I hosted it
tiple meat triple cheese, 1
triple meat, 1
triple meat hamburger, calories, 1
triple meat triple cheese, 1 - OM NOM NOM
what are pros and cons for flying cars?, 1
what was bo jackson childhood like, 1
whataburger combo #1 price, 1
whataburger triple meat, 1
whataburger triple meat triple cheese, 1
whataburger triple meat triple cheese price, 1 - $9
whataburger weezer logo, 1 - Conspiracy?
will galahue, 1
Apparently I Could Beat Up William Shatner
This classic fight scene from Star Trek proves that I could probably beat Captain Kirk in a fight in a desert.
Liberal Arm Injury Update
I've decided to coin my injury as a liberal arm injury since I hurt my left arm and I was playing the traditional liberal past time of soccer as opposed to conservative sports like washers and polo.
For those of you who don't know, I injured my arm playing soccer and broke both bones in my forearm in multiple places. My arm is going to be in a cast for a long time and my arm will now set off airport security checkpoints. I get my current cast replaced next week with a supercast (still waiting on the bill).
Things I have learned to do with one arm
- Typing but with no more wasted keystrokes (example ummm, j/k, dude)
- Opening child-proof pill bottles
- Opening ketchup packets
- Teaching other people SEO
- Driving (although my arm keeps hitting the brights when I hit the left turn signal)
Also with only one working arm no one asks you for money on the street and you get an aura of street credibility.
Lexus: Only Douchebags Can Drive Our New Car
Lexus is releasing a new supercar dubbed the LFA (or ALF if you rearrange the letters) and they are adamant that not just anyone with $350,000 will be able to drive it ... only douchebags with $350,000 will be allowed to get in the drivers seat of a vehicle that looks like a modded Nissan 350z.
Lexus LFA, a Nissan ripoff for $350,000 (Flickr HaveFunSVO)
So where does the douchebag part come from?
But simply having the $350,000 to buy one of the 500 LFAs Lexus plans to produce won't be enough: Buyers must be tapped by the company to be owners. People selected to purchase the car will be based on factors such as the other cars they own, where they live, and how often and where they drive. Potential buyers must apply through an authorized Lexus distributor.
Wow. Hey Lexus, if you want to be taken seriously as a high end car company, don't put out shitty cars like the IS200. Second since when has a company so brazenly requested its car owners be douchebags ... seriously Lexus I'm sure this Nissan ripoff is going to look great when its pulled over for speeding in a school zone.
Look, right now the luxury car market / douchebag mobile driving demographic isn't doing so well. The Ferrari California has seen some cancellations and Hummer is now owned by a Chinese company (irony?) ... in fact if anyone is looking for an '08 or '09 used Lambo on ebay and has the cash, you can pick one up for 50% of what the original owner probably paid.
"We want people who will drive the car, who will be seen in the car," said Paul Williamson, national manager at Lexus College, Toyota's dealer training school. "We want it to be seen on the right roads, in front of the right restaurants and not just being enjoyed by one individual in their private garage." (source)
God forbid I park this $350,000 car in a garage (especially during a hail storm where Lexus apparently wants me showing off the LFAils handling). Is someone at Lexus going to have a heart attack if the car drives through a zip code where the median household income isn't in the top 50 nationally. I mean I guess driving this car east of I-35 would cause the poor thing to self-destruct (which isn't saying a lot about the vehicle's reliability).
Lexus, get over yourself. Your company's sole mission is to build nicer looking Toyotas and sometimes you can't even get that right. Good luck with the ALF.
A Tribute to a Man with My Same Name
My name isn't very common so it was interesting to see another William Gallahue. Sadly he passed away but after reading his obituary, I think he's worthy of a blog post.
GALLAHUE, WILLIAM J., 85 of Louisville, passed away Friday, January 15, 2010 at the St. Matthews Manor Nursing Home.
He was the former owner of the old Crider's Tavern and Restaurant and was a former employee of Kosair Charities. He was an Army veteran of World War II, and a member of St. Louis Bertrand Catholic Church.
He is survived by his wife of 66 years, Mary Bills Gallahue; a son, William J. Gallahue Jr. (Lotis); a daughter, Darlene Jecker (Al); a brother, Carl Gallahue; two sisters, Mary Agnes Spencer and Anita Williams; four grandchildren; and five great-grandchildren.
The funeral will be 10 a.m. Monday at St. Louis Bertrand Catholic Church, 1104 S. Sixth St., with burial in Resthaven Cemetery. Visitation will be 2 - 7 p.m. Sunday at Ratterman's, 3711 Lexington Road.
Expressions of sympathy may be made to Hosparus of Louisville.
Wow ... married for 66 years that's an amazing accomplishment. If I got married tomorrow, I'd have to live to be 90 and stay married until 2076. He also gets bonus points for naming his son William and being a WWII veteran and tavern owner.
If I measure my life against his let's see:
- Kids ... 0 so far
- Love ... not married
- Veteran ... I like guns but the military isn't my thing
- Tavern owner ... one day hopefully ... Will's Bar and Grill sounds good
William J Gallahue 1, Regular William Gallahue 0
Karate Kid Remake: An Epic Fail in the Making
So for those of you who don't know, they are remaking the classic film The Karate Kid. The original version was a commercial and critical success to the point that Pat Morita earned an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actor. The film is a well loved classic which is why Hollywood has decided that it would be the perfect movie to ruin with an updated version.
I encourage you to watch the trailer first then read about all of the mistakes this film is making below:
- First of all KARATE IS FROM JAPAN. It was developed in Japan's Ryukyu Islands and was later brought to main land Japan. I'd like to take this opportunity to note that international relations between China and Japan are cordial but the countries are not close in any way. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if Chinese people are mad that a Japanese martial art is featured in main land China.
- Second of all Jackie Chan is a master of Kung-Fu. Knowing Kung Fu is in no way akin to knowing Karate ... imagine driving an automatic transmission and thinking you don't need someone to teach you how to drive a semi-truck because you "know how to drive."
- Third the film is really negative in how it portrays Chinese life. The film portrays China as an ambivalent society that doesn't welcome foreigners but I would completely disagree ... if you look at the China's record on human rights, you'll see a loving inclusive society that encourages diversity. /sarcasm
- Fourth of all the film acts like all Chinese children know martial arts. That's bullshit. Most of the Chinese people I know can't bench press the bar at the gym (mainly because they are women) and the ones that are really strong would rather brag about their successful careers and basketball skills rather than any prowess in martial arts.
- Fifth of all Jackie Chan isn't a great choice for a lead character. If you want someone who knows how to kick some ass, cast someone from the UFC who uses karate to win championships (cough Lyoto Machida cough). With the emergence of mixed martial arts, it makes other martial arts actors (with the exception of Tony Jaa from Ong Bak fame) look like well ... actors.
- Sixth of all the film gives it a 2000s "Dance Movie" type feel. If you watched the trailer and felt like you were watching Save the Last Dance, you aren't alone.
- Seventh of all the film, if you're still reading, I did some research while writing this post and discovered that the film will indeed be about Kung Fu. So then why the hell call it The Karate Kid? WTF?
To BMW Driver TX Plate MJM-164
How many did you have before you hit the road tonight?
Let's see, it took you 20 seconds to realize we had a green light at Bee Cave and N. Mopac ... then you crawled along at 20 mph to the onramp before you proceeded to drive 40 mph on a 65 mph road.
I would have passed you but everyone else was passing us because they realized how bad you were driving. You drive a brand new 5-series which isn't exactly a cheap car and I'm surprised it has managed to stay in one piece.
I hope you made it home tonight but if you didn't you have no one to blame but yourself.