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Cancer Screenings at Men’s Warehouse

I went to Men's Warehouse today to get fitted for a tux for my friends' wedding. I walked in with a plain white tee, jeans and some old Adidas. I looked more like I wanted to know where Hot Topic was rather than ask for their manly services which is why I walked two steps before being asked politely "Can I help you?"

I told them I was getting a tux and gave them a napkin with the wedding number/names written on it. I was then measured where the man measuring me remarked on more than one occasion that I have a big neck. That's a new one because most of the time if someone says I am big in a certain area they are talking about my ego.

That being said I decided to make the situation socially awkward:

"You don't think I have thyroid cancer do you?"

Odd pause and silence for 15 seconds

"Well I'm not a doctor, I mean, I don't think you have cancer but I'm not the guy to ask"

"Does Men's Warehouse have a cancer doctor on hand? It seems like you are trying to say I have cancer. Did you read it from the Men's Warehouse Cancer Diagnosis Manual?"

"... oh look that's all the measurements I needed. Put that coat on and as long as it fits you're done"