I don't understand why people in tech industries need to use the term Rockstar to make it sound like they do something cool. For instance, in search marketing, we tend to use the term to make it sound like someone 1) actually knows what they are doing and 2) is so good at it that they are miles above everyone else.
That's not the case of course. All of these so called rockstars offer up the same tired advice "Write good content and you'll get links. Oh and have good page titles." In fact to be completely honest how can anyone in SEO refer to themselves as a rockstar in an industry that is all about timing and guess work. Furthermore, I've discovered that people who refer to themselves as "rockstars" in the industry are just self-serving wannabes who are more "one-hit wonders" than rockstars.
So I propose that all tech industries drop the term. Honestly, what sounds better?
"I'm Joe, I'm a rockstar at SEO"
or
"I'm Joe, I have a proven track record of optimizing sites and generating leads and revenue for clients"
The first line basically says "I'm never getting laid" while the second line says "I'm good at what I do ... oh and the shiny Benz, that's mine too. Let's get a drink"
I mean come on, the closest any tech rockstar has come to doing a speedball is downing a red bull and vodka.
I liken the fascination with the terminology to people who become good at Guitar Hero and think they can actually play. The truth of the matter is that you can't, but don't let that take away from the fact that you can ace the game at the highest level of difficulty.
Linkedin recently began adding nofollow to outbound links on profiles. This essentially makes it nothing but an online repository for your resume and nothing else.
Some people use it, some people don't but the main value of the service to me was the dofollow links that passed anchor text to my sites. That's the only reason I have a profile on the site and the only reason its worth putting up with MLM/Contact Raiders/and all the other self-important people that are on the site.
Then all of a sudden LinkedIn decides that in order to curtail spam they should add nofollow to prevent people from creating fake profiles.
Big mistake.
I'd like to send their dev team a little email that goes something like this:
"Dear LinkedIn development team,
Rather than develop an algorithm to remove profiles based on very "spammy" keywords, you've made the incredibly stupid and shortsighted decision to add "nofollow" to profile links.
Have you ever googled the following strings:
site:linkedin.com viagra 10,500 results
site:linkedin.com levitra 7,920 results
site:linkedin.com cialis 7,090 results
site:linkedin.com online gambling 10,900 results
site:linkedin.com online casino 7,420 results
Look guys, I can't program to save my life and I don't want to knock you too much over this decision but whoever thought this was a good move (whether it was a person or team of people equally out of touch from reality) they should be fired immediately and their own Linkedin profiles need to have a big red disclaimer that says "DO NOT HIRE ME."
I think that in this time of economic uncertainty and the general feeling of despair that is being felt around the world, its important to remember that Mr. T was once Santa Claus with Nancy Reagan sitting on his lap.
I spent six hours driving from Austin to Dallas yesterday.
Since traffic was moving slow, the cops got smart, if they can't pull anyone over for speeding because of slow traffic, they should patrol the access roads. As a result you'd drive down the access road and encounter multiple traffic stops in a row from people trying to bypass the traffic. As a result people got scared of going on the access roads which only made things worse and reinforces negative stereotypes about law enforcement.
As usual most of the slowdowns and bullshit occurred in Bell County. No offense to residents but Bell County sucks for drivers. The access roads either cut off, loop around or are patrolled by so many cops that its not worth the trouble. Furthermore there always seems to be holiday road construction which only adds to the frustration.
Oh well, I get to come home, hang out with my mom and help clean. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was at my friends wedding this week and it was a lot of fun. It was in Houston and we were staying at the Marriott on Westheimer near the Galleria which is a very nice/expensive hotel that presents a unique set of problems to its guests.
This story begins the night before the wedding, myself and JH who was one of the groomsmen decided to take the groom out for drinks since we weren't having any kind of a crazy bachelor party. We knew that it was Wednesday and we were in Houston and that finding a bar (especially with the cold weather) would be difficult but you only live once and shouldn't call it a night after the rehearsal dinner.
We started at the hotel bar where we ordered "girl drinks" and beers and things were going well until we were informed that the hotel bar was closing, at midnight. Despite the horrible service, we were perfectly content sitting and watching sports highlights and making fun of the drunk businessmen sitting next to us. Instead we had to find somewhere else to finish the night.
Eventually we found out about the greatest bar in Houston, Bronx Bar.
We met our bar messiah while drunkenly buying a few Red Bulls at the Walgreens down the street. A young man with a thick New York accent and clothes that would make any gay fashionista vomit blood, informed us that we could find a bar where things were hoppin' and bottles were poppin'. The best part was that this bar was just two blocks down the street.
Sounds easy enough, we walk over and find our oasis ... a two story bar with seven people inside. Whatever though, we just want to drink and we proceeded to go inside and order drinks for the next two hours. I unsuccessfully hit on the bartender, twice and we played a game of pool and what made the game special was the fact that next to us, a guy passed out playing pool with his friends. (If you pass out playing pool in a shitty bar in Houston on a Wednesday, you're an alcoholic.)
We start walking back and we decide to hit up Walgreens again for some food. I get 2 boxes of Hot Pockets, JH gets a thing of Bertolli pasta and the groom gets a cinnamon bun. We go back to the hotel and part ways with the groom. JH and I go back to our room to microwave our fast food treasures and pass out.
One problem: No microwave.
I'm not eating a Hot Pocket cold and I don't know how the fuck you would eat a Bertolli ready to cook meal without heating it up. So JH and I walk down to the lobby and drunkenly ask "Where da microwaves at?"
The woman working downstairs informs us that the hotel doesn't have microwaves but that there are ovens in the kitchen. So we ask to go the kitchen but she informs us its closed.
Well I don't know about you but I'm not going to throw away a box of preserved fat just because we don't have the proper materials to heat it. So we go outside and find a taxi. We get in and tell the driver we only have one wish "Get us to a microwave. I don't care where the microwave is but we need a microwave."
During our trip, the driver informs us he was once a pimp in Austin. He bragged about owning a nice car and jewelry and how he got with almost every woman in town. I don't believe this for one second but what am I going to tell him? "Thanks for driving us to a microwave but I don't think you've ever been laid?"
He continues his tales of fornication then begins to tell us why he lives in Houston. One night he was at the Yellow Rose (a strip club) and a man came up to him and said he knew who our driver was and started asking questions (I guess he was insinuating this man was a cop). So he packed everything up and moved down here (I didn't ask where his pimp money/clothes went or why he drives a cab now but whatever its cool).
We end up at a gas station and walk inside to begin cooking our feast of hot pockets and pre-made Italian food. We spend the next 20 minutes microwaving (well mainly JH because his food took forever to cook). Rather than be jerks and leave without buying anything, JH buys some water and we're treated to more tales of conquest and manly adventure on the ride home. I give the driver some money and we go upstairs to pass out.
(As a side note I woke up at 8 the next morning and went downstairs expecting a selection of free muffins and coffee. Instead I was told that I could get all that and more from the Hotel's second floor buffet. How much did they want for the buffet? $19.)
I'm not sad, in fact I'm feeling great right now. However after watching the following video, you will probably feel like throwing up out of disgust and a feeling of sadness watching someone prepare a 6,805 calorie macaroni salad with 358 grams of fat 68 of which are saturated. The creature preparing the food can barely even talk without being out of breath. Without further introduction, enjoy this presentation of "Simply Sara - Wanda's Macaroni Salad."
I want to express my feelings through video but I think that any expression using the typical fail video would not do justice to the heart ache and pain I feel about last night's 35-34 loss to the Colts. Thus I am going to present the following video of Corey Feldman emulating Michael Jackson. If you get bored fast forward to 2:15 for a special surprise ending.
Liam Neeson backwards is no seen mail as in "Liam Neeson should have starred in The Postman instead of Kevin Costner because they could have asked his name and he would have said No Seen Mail."
Roseanne backwards is enn-ae-sor which I'm pronouncing as "An eyesore" as in Roseanne on television is enn-ae-sor.
Aisha Tyler backwards is re-lyt-ahsia (which I'm going to pronounce as asia) as in power was out to the entire continent of Asia until Aisha Tyler re-lyt-ahsia.
Edwin Cassiani backwards is in-ai-ssac niwde (nude) as in "I thought Edwin Cassiani was a hobo because when I met him, he was sleeping in-ai-ssac niwde."
Melissa Reeves backwards is seveer assilem (which I'm pronouncing as asylum" as in "Melissa Reeves has gone mental because they put her in the seveer assilem"
Industry Wish for 2010: Stop Using the Term Rockstar
I don't understand why people in tech industries need to use the term Rockstar to make it sound like they do something cool. For instance, in search marketing, we tend to use the term to make it sound like someone 1) actually knows what they are doing and 2) is so good at it that they are miles above everyone else.
That's not the case of course. All of these so called rockstars offer up the same tired advice "Write good content and you'll get links. Oh and have good page titles." In fact to be completely honest how can anyone in SEO refer to themselves as a rockstar in an industry that is all about timing and guess work. Furthermore, I've discovered that people who refer to themselves as "rockstars" in the industry are just self-serving wannabes who are more "one-hit wonders" than rockstars.
So I propose that all tech industries drop the term. Honestly, what sounds better?
"I'm Joe, I'm a rockstar at SEO"
or
"I'm Joe, I have a proven track record of optimizing sites and generating leads and revenue for clients"
The first line basically says "I'm never getting laid" while the second line says "I'm good at what I do ... oh and the shiny Benz, that's mine too. Let's get a drink"
I mean come on, the closest any tech rockstar has come to doing a speedball is downing a red bull and vodka.
I liken the fascination with the terminology to people who become good at Guitar Hero and think they can actually play. The truth of the matter is that you can't, but don't let that take away from the fact that you can ace the game at the highest level of difficulty.