- The planet where the action takes place is called Pandora. So I guess that means that everyone on the planet has their own radio station. That's pretty cool. I bet the blue people since to "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65 on repeat. (oddly enough Eiffel 65 is an Italian group)
- The blue people or Na'Vi (which is strangely close to spelling Nativity) speak perfect English. What a coincidence! Imagine having to read subtitles while watching 3d battles ... major bummer for kids who don't read good.
- The film has been rated PG-13 by the MPAA for intense epic battle sequences and warfare, sensuality, language and some smoking. ORLY?
- The protagonist is a former US Marine who was wounded in combat on earth and paralyzed from the waist down. So ... apparently, 200 years from now, we're still in Afghanistan.
- "Jake is selected to participate in the Avatar program, which will enable him to walk." So apparently in the future, disabled people can walk around but only while masquerading as 10 foot tall blue creatures with tails. (That's really mean James Cameron!). If I could walk around as a blue creature, I'd commit arson and tax fraud and blame it on my blue avatar.
- "As humans encroach deeper into Pandora's forests in search of valuable minerals, the Na’vi unleash their formidable warrior abilities to defend their threatened existence." Lame. James Cameron could cut this movie to a 15-minute short story with one simple prop ... smallpox blankets. Seriously I'm surprised that the humans didn't offer empty treaties and relocate the blue people to Oklahoma to build casinos (and damn good ones by the way).
- "Over time, Jake integrates himself into the Na'vi clan, and begins to fall in love with Neytiri. As a result, Jake finds himself caught between the military-industrial forces of Earth and the Na’vi, forcing him to choose sides in an epic battle that will decide the fate of Pandora forever."
Hint: Jake is a liberal. He'll choose love and probably stop shaving and live in the forest with the blue people and smoke pot and make pottery and then make trips home to Florida to vote for Al Gore IV.
Jake needs to learn there are a lot of 10-foot tall blue girls looking for disabled humans who pretend to be someone else. (cough that was the plot of the Matrix cough). Just let the humans take over and get them moon rocks and then marry whatever is left (I bet a human/Na'vi kid would probably resemble Keith van Horn). Then Jake can return to Earth or Pandora and start Cash4MoonRocks and make some serious bank to buy enough whiskey to assuage the pain of his transgressions.
This was originally posted as Facebook note on 10/27/2007
I have a hotmail account that gets alot of junk mail because I use it when I have to sign up with classes or services that sell my personal information to anyone willing to buy it.
I always get emails for online drugs and porn but I decided to have a bit of fun with one of them.
I looked at my inbox the other day and got this email
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Daron Escobar" daronescobar9527@hotmail.com
RE: s3x ashin p5ssy wash
Click Here for my FREE pics!
-------------------------------------------------
I decided to do some investigating so I sent Mr. Escobar a reply:
Hey Daron,
I don't remember sending you an email saying that any of my female Asian friends required any washing or maintenance but I appreciate your email. I imagine the FREE pics are examples of your highly regarded Asian genital washing service and I will take your word for it.
In any case please sign me up for 3 services a week (1 basic wash, 2 platinum packages) and if I can get a free towel that'd be great.
------------------------------------------------------
No reply. I felt left out because after all, most ethnic cleansers are very successful and this lack of service was growing out of control.
I figured hotmail canceled the account but then I got a second email from "Mr. Escobar"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Ben Igans (thats the fake name my email uses, Bennigans get it?)
After receiving your last email I put you into a lottery drawing and YOU WON! They sent me the confirmation email that I am forwarding to you.
We happily announce to you the draw of the Euro-Afro-American Sweepstake Lottery International Programs held on the 8th September
2007 in Essex United Kingdom. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: B956475604545 188with! Serial number 97560 drew the winning: 01/10/11/18/19/46, which subsequently won you the
lottery in the 2ndcategory.
You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £420,000.00 (Four Hundred and Twenty Thousand British Pounds) in cash credited to file KPC/9080118308/02.This is from a total cash prize of US £1100,000,00 Million pounds, shared amongst the first One Hundred and thirty (230) lucky winners in this category world-wide. Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our Afro booklet representative office in Africa as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your £420,000.00 (Four Hundred and Twenty Thousand British Pounds) would be released to you by Absa Bank South Africa.
Our African agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as Soon as you contact him. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through Computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,00 companies. This promotion takes place annually. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning Information confidential till your claim is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements. Please be warned.
To file for your claim, please contact our corresponding agent in South Africa immediately you read this Message for quick and urgent release of your fund, contact information is as follow: -
ADAMS ZUMA (lottery agent) .
E-mail:< zuma_adams14@yahoo.com
Direct Line: + 27 73 605 7318.
Please be informed that all winning must be claimed on or before 30th October 2007. To avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please quote your reference/batch numbers in any correspondences with our designated agents or us. Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program that has successfully won this competition. Thank you for being
Part of our promotional lottery program.
Sincerely,
Mrs. MONICA MARTINS.
United Kingdom Zonal Co-coordinator.
Mr. Alexandra Davis
United Kingdom zonal Secretary General.
Thank you for your Co-operation
------------------------------------------------------------
So I contacted zuma_adams14@yahoo.com about claiming my prize:
To: Adams Zuma
RE: My s3x ashin p5ssy wash Lottery Winnings
Mr. Zuma I was informed by the wonderful genius of Asian genital washing (Mr. Daron Escobar himself!) that I had won some money through the Euro-African-South Carolina Lottery Drawing.
I know you'll need to get in touch with me ASAP to confirm my winnings so here is my pertinent contact information:
Mr. Ben Igans
(202) 324-2000 (Ask for Mueller he's my personal secretary)
935 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington D.C. 20535
Email (again my secretary but he'll forward it to me) r.mueller@ic.fbi.gov
With any luck they just contacted FBI Director Robert Mueller, LOL.
Messin with the Scammers
This was originally posted as Facebook note on 10/27/2007
I have a hotmail account that gets alot of junk mail because I use it when I have to sign up with classes or services that sell my personal information to anyone willing to buy it.
I always get emails for online drugs and porn but I decided to have a bit of fun with one of them.
I looked at my inbox the other day and got this email
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Daron Escobar" daronescobar9527@hotmail.com
RE: s3x ashin p5ssy wash
Click Here for my FREE pics!
-------------------------------------------------
I decided to do some investigating so I sent Mr. Escobar a reply:
Hey Daron,
I don't remember sending you an email saying that any of my female Asian friends required any washing or maintenance but I appreciate your email. I imagine the FREE pics are examples of your highly regarded Asian genital washing service and I will take your word for it.
In any case please sign me up for 3 services a week (1 basic wash, 2 platinum packages) and if I can get a free towel that'd be great.
------------------------------------------------------
No reply. I felt left out because after all, most ethnic cleansers are very successful and this lack of service was growing out of control.
I figured hotmail canceled the account but then I got a second email from "Mr. Escobar"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Ben Igans (thats the fake name my email uses, Bennigans get it?)
After receiving your last email I put you into a lottery drawing and YOU WON! They sent me the confirmation email that I am forwarding to you.
We happily announce to you the draw of the Euro-Afro-American Sweepstake Lottery International Programs held on the 8th September
2007 in Essex United Kingdom. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: B956475604545 188with! Serial number 97560 drew the winning: 01/10/11/18/19/46, which subsequently won you the
lottery in the 2ndcategory.
You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £420,000.00 (Four Hundred and Twenty Thousand British Pounds) in cash credited to file KPC/9080118308/02.This is from a total cash prize of US £1100,000,00 Million pounds, shared amongst the first One Hundred and thirty (230) lucky winners in this category world-wide. Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our Afro booklet representative office in Africa as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your £420,000.00 (Four Hundred and Twenty Thousand British Pounds) would be released to you by Absa Bank South Africa.
Our African agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as Soon as you contact him. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through Computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,00 companies. This promotion takes place annually. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning Information confidential till your claim is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements. Please be warned.
To file for your claim, please contact our corresponding agent in South Africa immediately you read this Message for quick and urgent release of your fund, contact information is as follow: -
ADAMS ZUMA (lottery agent) .
E-mail:< zuma_adams14@yahoo.com
Direct Line: + 27 73 605 7318.
Please be informed that all winning must be claimed on or before 30th October 2007. To avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please quote your reference/batch numbers in any correspondences with our designated agents or us. Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program that has successfully won this competition. Thank you for being
Part of our promotional lottery program.
Sincerely,
Mrs. MONICA MARTINS.
United Kingdom Zonal Co-coordinator.
Mr. Alexandra Davis
United Kingdom zonal Secretary General.
Thank you for your Co-operation
------------------------------------------------------------
So I contacted zuma_adams14@yahoo.com about claiming my prize:
To: Adams Zuma
RE: My s3x ashin p5ssy wash Lottery Winnings
Mr. Zuma I was informed by the wonderful genius of Asian genital washing (Mr. Daron Escobar himself!) that I had won some money through the Euro-African-South Carolina Lottery Drawing.
I know you'll need to get in touch with me ASAP to confirm my winnings so here is my pertinent contact information:
Mr. Ben Igans
(202) 324-2000 (Ask for Mueller he's my personal secretary)
935 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington D.C. 20535
Email (again my secretary but he'll forward it to me) r.mueller@ic.fbi.gov
With any luck they just contacted FBI Director Robert Mueller, LOL.