Will's Blog This is why you have internet filters

30Mar/100

What Are My Facebook Chats Like?

Observe:

2:19am Person 2
- it was!
- all started when she walked into my bar
- out of all the bars, she walked into mine

2:20am William
- is that from a movie or tv show?

2:23am Person 2
- movie
- Casablanca

2:24am William
- oh yeah the one about the tranny granny on the run from the sheriff in east texas
- great film!

2:25am Person 2
- I wish that was an actual film
- that sounds fantastic

2:26am William
- they already made it ... aka any Kevin Costner movie after Dances with Wolves

2:26am Person 2
- awww...
- I love me some kevin c

2:27am William
- except the postman
- which should have starred liam neeson because his name backwards is no seen mail

2:27am Person 2
- we discussed this already.. i agree
- I still think it's super clever though

2:28am William
- I wish I had a time machine and his agents phone number
- or I wish Journey's don't stop believing was about the khmer rouge
- Just a general, living in a cambodian world, he took the midnight train to the killing fields

2:30am Person 2
- yay, a song about Cambodian Genocide
- I wanted to go to sleep at some point tonight and not have nightmares...

2:31am William
- if your having sleep problems I feel bad for you son, I've got 99 dreams but nightmares ain't one

2:33am Person 2
- ouch....
- if i do have nightmares, i will be hella upset with you

2:33am William
- i got the nap patrol on the bed patrol, folks that want to make sure my sheets are closed, nap critics say she's dreamin of bros, i'm from west campus stupid what kind of facts are those

2:35am William
- if you grew up with holes in your sleep cycles, you'd celebrate the minute you was on the floor, i'm like fuck snuggies you really blow, if you don't like my sheets then you got to go
- okay time to stop, i'd parody the entire song

2:36am Person 2
- that was super impressive

2:37am William
- i was about to make a reference to john snow too

2:38am Person 2
- I can stand another line of that song parodied if you need to get it out of your system

2:40am William
- i need to learn to do this live with a piano

2:40am Person 2
- that you do
- that might get onto the side of scary impressive instead of entertaining impressive

2:41am William
- daddy, would you like some sausage?
- would be a good representative example

2:42am Person 2
- exactely
- except I assume you still have your balls

2:42am William
- yep!
- lance armstrong doesn't but if he wanted to make clothes he could start a line called Pants Armstrong

2:44am William
- or a gay club called Dance Armstrong which would actually be more fitting than pants armstrong, no pun intended

2:44am Person 2
- haha
- I've always wanted to go to oil can harrys

2:44am William
- NOT WITH THE PRICE OF OIL
- you crazy?
- you think we're made of solid gold?

2:45am Person 2
- yeah...
- why?
- am I wrong?

2:45am William
- we're pyrite : (
- somehow that needs to be a line in a dramatic film ... like these animated mrs butterworths characters have a family tragedy
- and thats the major revelation

2:47am Person 2
- that makes me want pancakes

-----------
3:11am William
- tigers are lame

3:11am Person 2
- do you really not like zoos?

3:12am William
if you tell a lie in a Nigerian court room, I want to be there to yell "What do you think this is? Lie-geria?"

3:13am Person 2
-that would be worth getting a Law Degree in Nigeria
-also, back to the zoos... this is serious shit
-might not be able to be friends with you

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16Mar/104

How to Take a Bad Article to Digg’s Front Page (Case Study)

Every so called social media guru has their own secret sauce when it comes to getting on Digg. Some will tell you top 10 lists work best, others say amazing images or interesting infographics are the way to go. But no social media consultant would ever tell you to submit something bad ... unless of course you had some help from the right people.

170 Diggs? WTF?

I logged in to Digg earlier tonight and noticed the usual array of items ... odd pics, cringeworthy videos, Republican drama and typical fails. I was pleased but then I noticed the following story had 170 diggs (now 217):

Employees are Brands

I clicked the link thinking it would be something interesting but instead it was a rewrite of a Google news release on an Adsense site by someone in Bangalore, India. Normally Digg users quickly bury this crap because they realize its scam or the person's vote purchases are all brand new accounts that leave comments like "great post, please write more."

Instead this article was getting natural looking votes and people were leaving legitimate comments. Furthermore the writer claimed Google invented "Search" when in actuality Google launched four years after sites like Lycos and Infoseek. Normally someone making an error in an article, even a small error gets crucified on Digg but somehow none of the comments made light of this obvious problem.

This struck me as highly unusual considering the fact that if you aren't a power user, your quality content (not junk) will at best get 4 to 10 Diggs before it dies. So what is the secret? How does someone push this crap through the internet's smartest community?

Humble Beginnings

Our story begins with "Sneh" / @onlinesneh, a content writer in Bangalore, India. If you take a quick look at Sneh's twitter feed, you'll notice the usual output that comes from India's best writers (not being facetious but its a lucrative market over there). Data recovery, mortgage advice, top 10 lists and tech news rewrites all published and pointing links to advertisers ... you know typical outsourced content writing.

Now I have nothing against this "Sneh" person, in fact if the bio on their web site is correct, they are currently working on a college degree (which is more than I can say for a lot of people).

Sneh proceeds to publish an article titled "Employees are Brands" which basically is a rewrite of a Google corporate release talking about employee appreciation. In fact the article should actually be titled "Google Employees are Brands."

She then tweets a link to the article three times but doesn't link directly to the Digg submission, instead the links in her tweets go to the site directly.

Then What Happens?

Before this hits Digg, a network of fake Twitter accounts are already promoting the content (img1). These aren't linking to social bookmarking submissions yet but they don't need to because a second network of Twitter accounts has begun tweeting it.

The story hits Digg when it is submitted by user nikki4digg. "Nikki" joined Digg on October 14, 2009 and has managed to Digg 18000+ submissions at the astonishing rate of 120/day. Consider this for a minute, if you only Digg pictures, on the site (the fastest way this could happen since news articles require reading and videos have to load and be played) and it takes you 15 seconds to click, load, view and digg the image ... that's 30 straight minutes of repeating the same action and that's assuming there are 120 worthwhile images to Digg. When you start to think about digging articles or even short videos, (assuming you read/view them) 120 Diggs becomes a full time job.

Sorry for getting sidetracked ... shortly after submission, the digg submission is tweeted by Jasicasmo ... one of the thousands of "ghost repeater" accounts on Twitter. I'm going to use that term a lot so let me define it for you. Have you ever heard of Bob FM? Bob FM delivers music without human interaction. It simply plays friendly demographic appealing radio and you can listen or you can change the channel.

Ghost repeater Twitter accounts simply broadcast links all day long with no interaction with the audience. In addition ghost repeaters tend to follow anyone that follows them and generally have high follower numbers that equal their following numbers because other bot accounts add them because they tend to post on competitive SEO or tech keywords (ex: mortgages, apple, mlm, linux, work from home, torrents, dui lawyers).

Before I go any further, I want anyone reading this to understand that if you think its crazy to suggest a coordinated large scale effort to get Diggs ... for $600 you can get your article on the front page and it that fails they'll make a second attempt.

After the initial article is published, just one other account (that of one of the early diggers) Tweets the same link but momentum is slowly growing because a number of well connected diggers have 'dugg' it. In fact 7 of the first 10 diggs (not including the author, the submitter and an employee of InRev) have come from accounts with extraordinarily high digg counts and 100+ friends.

The article then sits for the next 10 hours before a sudden turn of events puts it on page one when a new network of ghost repeaters suddenly begin Tweeting the link. The resurgence starts when digg_worldnews (which doesn't appear affiliated with the service) tweets with a link to the digg submission. Suddenly a number of accounts (img2) begin to tweet the same link using different URL shortening services but often with the same ad text. The use of different URL shortening services in my opinion is an effort to confuse Digg to make visits appear natural instead of arising suspicion from the same link. (note: a small number of these pointed their links to Stumbleupon or Reddit)

How many ghost Twitter accounts spontaneously start promoting it?
@a_Technology, @BlissTribe, @cloudprav, @cybermotier, @darrylwilliamss, @designfront, @financial__news, @FollowInTheKnow, @gerryblack, @goodfinancial, @InvokeResults (same owner as @ReviveCoaching that also tweets it), @jc421, @juanarce, @Kafgemini, @lonnymiller, @KnowMoreTech, @kyrontrey, @mathewmurphy, @miketruong, @onlinedegr3e, @patelankur, @peterlubs, @redesocialesweb, @robertolorenzo, @robtesttweets, @Sandy3010, @sastiger, @spaceKebabji, @Srce_of_Errors, @SuperHuddle, @surveygizmo, @tchista, @tosumitgupta, @tracyoverton, @VictoriaNovikov, @voltronthecat (twitter account for a cat) @webvertise2, @wechartsdotcom, @weirdsht, @zombiegirrrrl

Unsettling Truths

Even though these accounts are crap, humans who follow these accounts might be able to generate the needed social media push. However how many of these 'gullible' people to have Digg accounts and how many of them use them on a regular basis? Furthermore can any of these accounts be tied to actual Digg votes from their administrators?

The unsettling thing is that I checked the people who dugg the article and account after account after account showed they were veteran users with many of them had Digg counts in the low thousands with some user approaching 100,000. For experienced users who have been on the site long enough to accumulate these numbers, how did they fall victim to something like this?

At the same time these repeaters are coming on line, Diggs start to magically appear and accumulate and the article is made popular. Is this all coincidence with one account influencing the votes of an entire community? Or could it be that this happens at around 2AM EST which ensures a lot of US Diggers are in bed and can't bury what amounts to an awful article (or are playing WoW or streaming movies). Furthermore another vocal segment, UK diggers, are commuting to work and settling in for the day.

The article currently has 526 views with 229 Diggs ... an incredibly high ratio considering the article's quality.

Something doesn't seem right.

Am I saying votes were purchased?

I'm not a cop and I don't want to assume anything but the votes on this article just don't seem to make any sense. The article is of incredibly poor quality, makes no conclusions, fails to argue any strong points, has no epic images and has some errors. Normally this kind of material gets 0 Diggs but somehow it racked up more votes than anything I've ever submitted to the service which includes some pretty awesome pics and epic criminal fails.

Considering the intelligence of the community and the general disdain for low quality material, I can only surmise that some of the established accounts that dugg the material didn't read it or perhaps received some considerations. I don't want to name names or speculate on what happened but I wouldn't be surprised if a pay-per-vote / submission service was behind it.

14Mar/100

What is a social media coach? (sxsw rant alert)

I still don't know the answer. The reason I am posing this question is because I met one last night at a sxsw party and this person was the biggest asshole / everything wrong with nouveau tech person that I have ever met. That made me think, how can you be a "social media coach" if your real world social skills make people think you're a jerk?

Look, I brag, we all do. The only difference is that when I meet other people who work in my same industry, I don't try to play the "I know more than you because I work with a big client and have a somewhat popular blog," type game.

I realize that everyone has their own special gift in the SEO world and I try to look at other people in my industry as learning opportunities.

So why am I wasting my time writing about someone who doesn't have a real job? Well its symptomatic of everything wrong with the Tech 2.0 world ... egotistical, arrogant people shoving business cards and I-take-all-the-credit success stories down your throat.

"I'm a social media coach for musicians. This band I work with got signed by Atlantic Records."

That was the introduction I received when meeting this so called social media coach. I had been talking to her friend about a startup she was involved with that connects volunteers with volunteer opportunities and contrasting it with a site I have helped out in the past.

Then she introduces me her to friend who gives me the line above and things continue to go downhill.

W: "Oh cool. I work somewhat on the social media presence for the band that's playing. What do you do as a social media coach?"

SMC: "I encourage bands to use social media" (aka I don't have a real job)

W: "Okay so do you help them optimize their online presence and manage their Myspace ..."

SMC: "MYSPACE IS DEAD. NO ONE USES IT."

W: "Well for music it tends to work well. Myspace tends to get indexed better than Facebook fan pages."

SMC: "YEAH WELL MYSPACE IS DEAD."

W: "You think that even with their new management team? I think they might turn it around."

SMC: "THEY WON'T I DON'T KNOW WHY BANDS STILL USE IT"

W: "Well I think its better for fan acquisition because its easier to use."

(SMC then walked away)

At that point I wanted to laugh and tell her the truth ... the band she supposedly works with got signed because their music is good, not because some self-important person told them to get a Twitter account.

I wish I could say this was an anomaly but I had similar conversations this weekend with someone who edits video and a guy who runs an outsourcing firm. Don't get me wrong, there are some really friendly people in the Tech 2.0 world. I've had some great conversations with people simply because neither of us try to shove business cards and self-congratulatory elevator speeches down each other's throats. But sadly, things tend to be trending more towards the social media coaches than people interested in developing friendships over common occupations.

If you want further proof of just how bad the tech world has gotten, check out http://rsvp-sbysw.eventbrite.com where you can pay $38.92 to have someone overseas rsvp for 75 parties for you. Let me run that by you again, if you're too busy blowing startup funding on pinball machines and tweeting @ replies to people about how airports suck then you can hire someone foreign to put your name on party lists.

Seriously techies ... get over yourselves.

14Mar/100

Domain Update

I now own the following domains which are important or formerly had sites on them:

Atheistperspective.com (used to be a serious blog, going to make it a comedy blog)
Dominiquewilkins.com (no site)
Ferrari355.com (no site)
Officespaceonline.net (put a blog on there, still working on it)
Treeofliberty.com (no site)

5Mar/101

Avatar Observations

Yeah yeah yeah, you've read 20 other blogs reviewing Avatar and have already seen the movie and drunkenly discussed the film with your friends but I'd like to offer my thoughts. I saw the film in IMAX 3D on the final showing before it switches over to Alice in Burtonland and here are some of my observations (note I will not use any mainstream criticisms like the plot or the mineral unobtanium):

Avatar Internet > Earth Internet
On Pandora, if you want to get online and check emails from your ancestors, IM with animals or post on the Tree God's forum, all you have to do is plug your hair into their network. No router. No 404 errors. No network problems. No $30 in monthly fees. No unhelpful foreign tech support telling you to cycle the modem. No rickrolling. No trolling.

In fact the only bad part is that if someone with dirty hair also uses the same connection point you're going to get some nasty hair issues.

edit: Their internet doesn't have porn or torrents so its probably even

Avatar's Blue People > Blue Man Group > "Blue (ba da bee)" by Eiffel 65
Avatar's blue people are 10 feet tall, shoot poisonous arrows and can communicate with nature without the use of acid. The blue man group just bangs on stuff and Eiffel 65 still sucks.

Long and awkward crowd shots: Matrix Reloaded > Avatar
Avatar features some really out of place shots during the community prayer sequence at the magic tree (yes I did just say that). All the blue people swaying and praying made me feel awkward much in the way that the cave rave shots from Matrix Reloaded made that movie awkward. The only difference was the Matrix had some nips.

Avatar political preaching > Michael Moore
I know everyone has already covered this but rather than choose to be subtle in how he presented his message, James Cameron made it perfectly clear. The blue people are Democrats.

Use of black screens to cut scenes: Law and Order > Avatar
Avatar surprised me in that it featured multiple instances where a new scene was introduced by the previous scene fading to black. At least Law and Order puts some text to give you an idea of where they are.

Big budget lesser known actors: Sam Worthington > Elijah Wood
In order to play Frodo, Elijah Wood basically grew out his hair because he's already a small person. Sam Worthington either had the muscles removed from his legs or he rode a Segway for three months straight because when they did shots of his legs, they were sticks. I'll give him some respect for dedication.

Those things you sit in and shoot things with: Avatar > Matrix Revolutions
In Matrix reloaded the TTYSIASTW's were pretty lame (not to mention the cringeworthy Braveheart ripoff speech where the general rallies the TTYSIASTW operators and they all lift their left arm gun things in unison). In Avatar the TTYSIASTWs featured a cockpit w/HUD that protected them rather than the open cockpits of the machines in Matrix Revolutions. The TTYSIASTWs in Avatar allowed them to manipulate objects and hold different weapons and had a surprising amount of dexterity. In both movies however, the TTYSIASTWs are ultimately defeated by smaller and more nimble creatures.

More unlikely romance: Anna Nicole Smith and that rich old guy > Avatar
Both examples feature people that shouldn't really be together considering their circumstances but in each instance their romances were able to flourish despite criticism from close friends/family. In Avatar the fake blue guy is nearly killed by his future wife which tends to happen a lot in the real world. How often do we hear things like "My wife is gonna kill me when she finds out I bet on the Colts" or "My wife almost killed me with a golf club after discovering I cheated on her with 10 different women."

But the reason Anna Nicole Smith wins is because even blind people could see through that romance. Of course she's dead now so I guess her move didn't really pay off (yeah cruel joke but Haiti is much more tragic than a former Playboy model with drug problems)

Would an army of dragons, dinosaurs and archers actually beat a squad of gunships in real life?
Yes but only due to the fact that with current budget overruns and controversies over military contracts, these machines will probably never be built.

Blue-daism > RDAtheism
You'll only get that if you saw the movie.

1Mar/100

What I learned from USA vs Canada

Earlier this afternoon, Team USA and Team Canada played one of the best games in the history of Olympic hockey. It didn't look good for the Americans early on but when Zach Parise tied the game with only seconds remaining in regulation, suddenly the game went from good to epic. Even though America lost, there are some important lessons we can learn.

1. Every sports bar will have a 'that guy' who knows nothing about the sport and only watches because its the championship and the bar has beer specials.

Today was no different than watching the BCS National Championship with people that don't know much about football. Today's 'that guy' was a man in his mid-30s who apparently got bored with the one TV showing Nascar and decided to interject his Madden-esque wisdom onto the sport of hockey yelling such insightful comments like "Skate faster" "Hit that guy" "Shoot the damn puck already" "Come on Fight! Fight! Fight! This is hockey where's the fighting?" "Push the Goalie out of the Way" and so on ... Also I want to note that as soon as Crosby scored he was the first and certainly not the last person to attempt a Canada sucks chant and interjected equally unintelligent insults including my favorite "You guys can have your stupid Hockey game but we have Football and Baseball" (forgetting the Blue Jays world series teams of the early 90s and the Canadian Football League)

Look its cool to cheer and talk about how a team is performing and even if you don't know much about the sport, you can still make educated commentary based on basic facts (example: "There isn't much time left, they really need to push in the offensive zone"). However don't make it so obvious that you don't know what's going on because it really annoys people trying to follow the game.

2. Sidney Crosby has a gold medal, Wayne Gretzky doesn't

For those of you who don't remember, NHL players weren't eligible to play in the Olympics until 1998. That year Gretzky made his olympic debut but failed to medal as Canada lost to Finland in the bronze medal game. Peter Forsberg scored his memorable shootout goal in 1994 and subsequently signed his first NHL contract after having played for Swedish club Modo.

3. Hot Canadian women don't watch sports at bars.

I'm not going to go into detail because I realize that I'm not the world's best looking guy but I just want to make that known. I've actually met some beautiful Canadian girls downtown (note to guys who took French in high school, drunk Canadian girls go crazy when you parlez vous francais).

4. When people chant U-S-A, U-S-A
Its fun to interject "Party in the" because we all need more Miley Cyrus in our lives. Wait did I just say that?

5. I will fly to Russia just to go see team USA in 2014.

   

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