Will's Blog This is why you have internet filters

What Are My Facebook Chats Like?

Observe:

2:19am Person 2
- it was!
- all started when she walked into my bar
- out of all the bars, she walked into mine

2:20am William
- is that from a movie or tv show?

2:23am Person 2
- movie
- Casablanca

2:24am William
- oh yeah the one about the tranny granny on the run from the sheriff in east texas
- great film!

2:25am Person 2
- I wish that was an actual film
- that sounds fantastic

2:26am William
- they already made it ... aka any Kevin Costner movie after Dances with Wolves

2:26am Person 2
- awww...
- I love me some kevin c

2:27am William
- except the postman
- which should have starred liam neeson because his name backwards is no seen mail

2:27am Person 2
- we discussed this already.. i agree
- I still think it's super clever though

2:28am William
- I wish I had a time machine and his agents phone number
- or I wish Journey's don't stop believing was about the khmer rouge
- Just a general, living in a cambodian world, he took the midnight train to the killing fields

2:30am Person 2
- yay, a song about Cambodian Genocide
- I wanted to go to sleep at some point tonight and not have nightmares...

2:31am William
- if your having sleep problems I feel bad for you son, I've got 99 dreams but nightmares ain't one

2:33am Person 2
- ouch....
- if i do have nightmares, i will be hella upset with you

2:33am William
- i got the nap patrol on the bed patrol, folks that want to make sure my sheets are closed, nap critics say she's dreamin of bros, i'm from west campus stupid what kind of facts are those

2:35am William
- if you grew up with holes in your sleep cycles, you'd celebrate the minute you was on the floor, i'm like fuck snuggies you really blow, if you don't like my sheets then you got to go
- okay time to stop, i'd parody the entire song

2:36am Person 2
- that was super impressive

2:37am William
- i was about to make a reference to john snow too

2:38am Person 2
- I can stand another line of that song parodied if you need to get it out of your system

2:40am William
- i need to learn to do this live with a piano

2:40am Person 2
- that you do
- that might get onto the side of scary impressive instead of entertaining impressive

2:41am William
- daddy, would you like some sausage?
- would be a good representative example

2:42am Person 2
- exactely
- except I assume you still have your balls

2:42am William
- yep!
- lance armstrong doesn't but if he wanted to make clothes he could start a line called Pants Armstrong

2:44am William
- or a gay club called Dance Armstrong which would actually be more fitting than pants armstrong, no pun intended

2:44am Person 2
- haha
- I've always wanted to go to oil can harrys

2:44am William
- NOT WITH THE PRICE OF OIL
- you crazy?
- you think we're made of solid gold?

2:45am Person 2
- yeah...
- why?
- am I wrong?

2:45am William
- we're pyrite : (
- somehow that needs to be a line in a dramatic film ... like these animated mrs butterworths characters have a family tragedy
- and thats the major revelation

2:47am Person 2
- that makes me want pancakes

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3:11am William
- tigers are lame

3:11am Person 2
- do you really not like zoos?

3:12am William
if you tell a lie in a Nigerian court room, I want to be there to yell "What do you think this is? Lie-geria?"

3:13am Person 2
-that would be worth getting a Law Degree in Nigeria
-also, back to the zoos... this is serious shit
-might not be able to be friends with you