Avatar Observations
Yeah yeah yeah, you've read 20 other blogs reviewing Avatar and have already seen the movie and drunkenly discussed the film with your friends but I'd like to offer my thoughts. I saw the film in IMAX 3D on the final showing before it switches over to Alice in Burtonland and here are some of my observations (note I will not use any mainstream criticisms like the plot or the mineral unobtanium):
Avatar Internet > Earth Internet
On Pandora, if you want to get online and check emails from your ancestors, IM with animals or post on the Tree God's forum, all you have to do is plug your hair into their network. No router. No 404 errors. No network problems. No $30 in monthly fees. No unhelpful foreign tech support telling you to cycle the modem. No rickrolling. No trolling.
In fact the only bad part is that if someone with dirty hair also uses the same connection point you're going to get some nasty hair issues.
edit: Their internet doesn't have porn or torrents so its probably even
Avatar's Blue People > Blue Man Group > "Blue (ba da bee)" by Eiffel 65
Avatar's blue people are 10 feet tall, shoot poisonous arrows and can communicate with nature without the use of acid. The blue man group just bangs on stuff and Eiffel 65 still sucks.
Long and awkward crowd shots: Matrix Reloaded > Avatar
Avatar features some really out of place shots during the community prayer sequence at the magic tree (yes I did just say that). All the blue people swaying and praying made me feel awkward much in the way that the cave rave shots from Matrix Reloaded made that movie awkward. The only difference was the Matrix had some nips.
Avatar political preaching > Michael Moore
I know everyone has already covered this but rather than choose to be subtle in how he presented his message, James Cameron made it perfectly clear. The blue people are Democrats.
Use of black screens to cut scenes: Law and Order > Avatar
Avatar surprised me in that it featured multiple instances where a new scene was introduced by the previous scene fading to black. At least Law and Order puts some text to give you an idea of where they are.
Big budget lesser known actors: Sam Worthington > Elijah Wood
In order to play Frodo, Elijah Wood basically grew out his hair because he's already a small person. Sam Worthington either had the muscles removed from his legs or he rode a Segway for three months straight because when they did shots of his legs, they were sticks. I'll give him some respect for dedication.
Those things you sit in and shoot things with: Avatar > Matrix Revolutions
In Matrix reloaded the TTYSIASTW's were pretty lame (not to mention the cringeworthy Braveheart ripoff speech where the general rallies the TTYSIASTW operators and they all lift their left arm gun things in unison). In Avatar the TTYSIASTWs featured a cockpit w/HUD that protected them rather than the open cockpits of the machines in Matrix Revolutions. The TTYSIASTWs in Avatar allowed them to manipulate objects and hold different weapons and had a surprising amount of dexterity. In both movies however, the TTYSIASTWs are ultimately defeated by smaller and more nimble creatures.
More unlikely romance: Anna Nicole Smith and that rich old guy > Avatar
Both examples feature people that shouldn't really be together considering their circumstances but in each instance their romances were able to flourish despite criticism from close friends/family. In Avatar the fake blue guy is nearly killed by his future wife which tends to happen a lot in the real world. How often do we hear things like "My wife is gonna kill me when she finds out I bet on the Colts" or "My wife almost killed me with a golf club after discovering I cheated on her with 10 different women."
But the reason Anna Nicole Smith wins is because even blind people could see through that romance. Of course she's dead now so I guess her move didn't really pay off (yeah cruel joke but Haiti is much more tragic than a former Playboy model with drug problems)
Would an army of dragons, dinosaurs and archers actually beat a squad of gunships in real life?
Yes but only due to the fact that with current budget overruns and controversies over military contracts, these machines will probably never be built.
Blue-daism > RDAtheism
You'll only get that if you saw the movie.
Karate Kid Remake: An Epic Fail in the Making
So for those of you who don't know, they are remaking the classic film The Karate Kid. The original version was a commercial and critical success to the point that Pat Morita earned an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actor. The film is a well loved classic which is why Hollywood has decided that it would be the perfect movie to ruin with an updated version.
I encourage you to watch the trailer first then read about all of the mistakes this film is making below:
- First of all KARATE IS FROM JAPAN. It was developed in Japan's Ryukyu Islands and was later brought to main land Japan. I'd like to take this opportunity to note that international relations between China and Japan are cordial but the countries are not close in any way. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if Chinese people are mad that a Japanese martial art is featured in main land China.
- Second of all Jackie Chan is a master of Kung-Fu. Knowing Kung Fu is in no way akin to knowing Karate ... imagine driving an automatic transmission and thinking you don't need someone to teach you how to drive a semi-truck because you "know how to drive."
- Third the film is really negative in how it portrays Chinese life. The film portrays China as an ambivalent society that doesn't welcome foreigners but I would completely disagree ... if you look at the China's record on human rights, you'll see a loving inclusive society that encourages diversity. /sarcasm
- Fourth of all the film acts like all Chinese children know martial arts. That's bullshit. Most of the Chinese people I know can't bench press the bar at the gym (mainly because they are women) and the ones that are really strong would rather brag about their successful careers and basketball skills rather than any prowess in martial arts.
- Fifth of all Jackie Chan isn't a great choice for a lead character. If you want someone who knows how to kick some ass, cast someone from the UFC who uses karate to win championships (cough Lyoto Machida cough). With the emergence of mixed martial arts, it makes other martial arts actors (with the exception of Tony Jaa from Ong Bak fame) look like well ... actors.
- Sixth of all the film gives it a 2000s "Dance Movie" type feel. If you watched the trailer and felt like you were watching Save the Last Dance, you aren't alone.
- Seventh of all the film, if you're still reading, I did some research while writing this post and discovered that the film will indeed be about Kung Fu. So then why the hell call it The Karate Kid? WTF?